So I was walking around campus the other day and saw something I thought, until that moment, to be only a silly urban legend.  But there, walking along right in front of me were a pair of Sketcher Shape-Ups.  I honestly didn’t know the name until just now looking for a picture.  I hadn’t yet been fortunate enough to witness a pair in action, but had seen the displays in malls and online advertising boxes all over, giving them a more mysterious and elusive feeling as if I were tracking the abominable snowman or sasqautch himself.  Only, it now felt as I continued to follow the heavyset exerciser (Yes, I’m an ass, but you can’t overlook details) striding his way to class, gym, friends, etc., that I had found the two sitting on tree stumps out in the woods sharing stories over a nice bottle of scotch like it was a common occurrence.  You can imagine how shocked/lucky I felt to discover the actual use and existence of this product.

Now let me cut the crap.  For one, don’t buy these.  They’ll most likely screw up your posture and lead to back problems somewhere down the road.  I’m no doctor, so don’t take my words verbatim – shame on both of you who do anyways – but I’m not about to buy a pair myself.  Besides being questionably productive and should I even stoop to simply saying “good in any way” for your posture, stride, body – the barefoot running crowd  must be going ape shit over these things- or anything else for that matter, and maybe this doesn’t phase many of you, but they look ridiculous.  I’m half liable for tripping you as you walk past, simply to see if really do improve your balance.  A word of advice…. You want fitness results?  They ain’t comin’ from a pair of these.  Step foot in a gym, or even easier, buy a pair of real sneakers and walk/run.  There’s no easy way around it and honestly, after devoting the past four years to studying marketing concepts and strategies, I seriously cringed when I saw the kid pass by.  These things actually sell it seems, even if they aren’t flying off the shelves, some poor, non-informed consumer is eating these claims whole and asking for a side of slip ons.  Please, for the sake of the barefoot running crowd even, who might or might not be actively forming a facebook group opposing Shape-Ups, think twice.  Just think twice.